Overtiredness: Are you afraid of it?
Overtiredness: Are you afraid of it?
As a parent, you’ve probably heard or read about “overtiredness” more times than you could possibly count. It’s often used by the sleep industry world to explain any sleep problem you may be experiencing with your baby.
I am in a different season of parenting than most of you, yet I can still clearly remember the fear of my baby becoming ‘overtired’ and what that could potentially mean for me overnight!
For many baby sleep issues, overtiredness has been blamed by default – but many of these baby sleep issues that parents experience are behaviours that are actually biological normal, and biological norms don’t serve the sleep industry (that’s a blog for another time).
What does an overtired baby look and act like?
Your little one may be fussy, they may have a high-pitched cry, arch their back and push away from you. They can be overly hyperactive, silly, irritable, restless, and resist feeding.
It can take a long time for them to fall asleep and they may really fight sleep or they may go to the other end of the scale and fall asleep almost instantly! But naps can be really short with your little one’s mood upon waking up being unhappy and upset.
Early rising and waking more overnight are possible overtiredness signs too. In toddlers, being clumsy, much more emotional, and easily overwhelmed are signs of overtiredness too.
You may be thinking that if my little one is looking and acting like this, then they are ‘overtired’, right?
It could be, but let’s look at this a little more: have you considered the possibility of your baby ever being ‘undertired’?
This is where it can get awfully confusing for parents to figure out because lots of ‘overtired’ signs can also be behaviours a baby exhibits when ‘undertired’.
How to work out if your baby is getting enough sleep
Do you know the average sleep totals for your baby’s age? The idea that all babies sleep and need to sleep 12 hours overnight is not actually the norm.
But there is lots of information around about the average sleep totals for babies of different ages, so it can become confusing for parents. According to the Sleep Health Foundation, Australia’s leading advocate for healthy sleep, the average sleep recommendations are as follows:
Average Sleep Totals (per 24 hours):
❖ 0-3 Months: 14-17 hours - evenly spread between day + night
❖ 4-11 Months: 12-15 hours - 10-11 overnight
❖ 1-2 Years: 11-14 hours - 10-11 overnight
Figuring out if your baby is sleeping the appropriate amount can be done by simply tracking a week of your baby’s sleep. Take note of the time they’re actually falling asleep for their daytime naps, how long each nap is, when they fall asleep at bedtime, and what time they wake in the morning.
Add their daytime sleep hours and their nighttime sleep hours together and this should give you a good idea of their “average” total hours per 24.
So why can tracking sleep be helpful? Having an idea of your baby’s average total means that if the hours your baby is getting are on the lower end of average. you can safely assume that overtiredness is the issue.
However, if they are on the high end of average total sleep, you need to consider they may actually be undertired and need their wake windows to be a bit longer, or possibly a nap to be capped.
When a baby is undertired, they can also take a long time to fall asleep but unlike the overtired baby, are generally content and not extremely fussy or upset. Other signs can be false starts in the first part of the night and early morning wakes.
An important point to remember regarding signs of overtiredness is that many of these signs can also be signs of illness. If you feel that your little one is unwell, seek guidance from a healthcare professional.
Why are parents afraid of overtiredness?
The reason parents are afraid of their baby becoming overtired is that their baby will likely have a difficult time falling asleep and a difficult time staying asleep. That was certainly the case for me!
These difficulties happen because when babies are overtired, the sleep latency (think the time it takes to fall asleep) decreases. This means babies go through sleep stages too quickly, and then they struggle with transitioning between sleep cycles for the rest of the night.
Here are my seven suggestions parents can try if they find themselves battling bedtime due to their baby’s overtiredness:
Have an anchor to the day, meaning your baby has a predictable wake-up time every day. This will give predictability to their first nap time and sets their body clock for the day too.
Tune into your baby, and observe them for their earlier sleepy cues. Does your baby look away from you, do they have that million dollar stare or a glazed look in their eyes? Have their eyebrows become red, have they gone quiet or lost interest in what they were playing with?
Create a consistent, calm, and predictable routine for wind-down time prior to naps and bedtime.
Observe and track your baby’s wake windows for a few days to see if you notice any patterns. Treat wake window “averages” as a guide rather than an absolute truth because every baby is unique.
Sleep latency is described as the time it takes for your baby to fall asleep. Research suggests 15-20 minutes is ideal.
Check in with how you yourself are feeling before attempting your nap or bedtime routine. Your baby’s nervous system is so attuned to yours that they will dial up if you yourself are feeling that way. Calming yourself (with breathing or a special mantra that resonates with you) before attempting to put your little one to sleep can be a game changer.
Sleep is sleep and can be in a cot, as a contact nap, in a carrier /pram or in the car. Do what works for you and your baby to get their sleep.
My takeaway message from this blog, (because I love take away messages) is this: if the fear of your baby becoming overtired has consumed your entire day, and all your thoughts and energy are focusing on sleep to avoid the possibility of overtiredness, please try to let it go by knowing that nature has been kind to us.
Know that tired babies will sleep, and by bringing the focus of your day, your thoughts and energy into doing things with your baby that are enjoyable for you both may actually make sleep that little bit easier and your worry of overtiredness a little less fearful.
Sources:
https://www.sleephealthfoundation.org.au/
https://islagrace.ca/independent-study-sleep-coach-certification/
HOOKWAY, L. (2018). HOLISTIC SLEEP COACHING - GENTLE ALTERNATIVES TO SLEEP TRAINING: For health & childcare ... professionals. TX: PRAECLARUS Press.